That’s Me In The Corner

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
– Rumi

Hello, hello! How in the heck have you been? Are you doing okay during these COVID Times? Are you getting enough rest? This past year has been tough for many, and it’s okay to not be okay right now.

Right now it’s about 6 a.m. (EST), and I’m enjoying a hot cup of coffee as I ponder the events that have transpired since my last post. Of course I want to share it with all y’all, mostly because I think it is important that we share our stories with each other. However, I’m not sure how to condense it all down into an insightful post that will accurately explain where my life is right now. Heck, I’ve already hit the backspace key about eleventy billion times, as whatever comes from my fingers doesn’t really describe my experiences.

If hard pressed, I could kinda sum it up like this: I lost my “mojo,” found it hanging out in the strangest places, then spent a long time navel gazing. Like, y’all, things take as long as they take, but I was starting to wonder if the Universe decided to hand me every life lesson all at once. Nothing was “all bad,” nor was it a time of chaos. Truthfully, it was the most quiet my wee family and I have had since like, 2012. It was like every thought I’d put off decided to pay a visit like Marley’s ghosts in A Christmas Carol. None of them appeared to teach me a valuable lesson about being kind to my fellow sentient beings, but more like, “Remember when that happened, and you did that one thing,” or “This is how that idea would have worked if you had followed through.” It was a nice retrospective into the daily machinations of my over thinking noggin.

There were outside sources of mojo loss, too. At the end of last year my identity was stolen, and it’s taking quite a bit of time to get that straightened out. Talk about gathering a fierce inventory of everything you’ve done, everywhere you’ve been, and who the person that stole your information wants you to be. Doing that has been a TOTAL mind melt. All the representative and legal folx I’ve talked to will say, “That must be so intrusive and scary, to have that level of vulnerability because of this.” My reply usually goes something like this: “Well, it’s nice to see who I am not, so that I can understand who I am.”

As per always, I have also been dealing with the Corporate Western Medical Institution. Sadly it is in need of some serious work, and it will take a lot of dedicated people to fix it…that is, if it can even be repaired. The best thing might be to just toss it, then start over again. Profits should never, not ever, be put above people. It would be easy to lay the blame on a single entity, but the truth is that there’s this wacky trinity of medical, pharmaceutical, and insurance shenanigans that make getting good care difficult for those who make less that 7 million dollars a year.

Coming in fast after the above two paragraphs, is my relationship with Social Media. I’m not going to wax nostalgic on how I’ve been using the Internet since the time of dinosaurs – it’s a trope that’s been used far too many times by myself and others. What I will say is that I never imagined that such a wonderful tool would be used to foster division, spite, and FOMO. As we say for fun around these parts, “This isn’t your Dad’s Internet anymore, kiddies.” To remember that I am, in fact, a human, I took an extended time away from being online so much. Any time I felt the need to check my social media, I would write a USPS sent letter to a friend. If my mind was full of thoughts, I signed up for a swap of some kind, then spent time being creative.

So, that’s what I’ve been up to these days. It’s nothing spectacular, earthshaking, or influencer worthy – just a human person doing human person things.

Have a most wonderful day!
Much love,

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